This stinks.
My entire life is spent with dirty grimy yucky feet.  Everyone thinks I'm the one who smells, but no.  Feet put the stink into stinky.  I really need make my break.  Sure, the tilt-a-whirl is fun, but you have to ride the water demon first.  Man that really puts me through the ringer.

It's a tough life being a sock.  I lost my brother last week.  He had a hole, and he was tossed out like a piece of trash.  Now I'm paired up with some new guy.  I remember the day I was born, nice and fresh in the rapper with my brother and cousins.  Now there aren't many of us left, most have been tossed.  But Sal, he made a break for it.  He's a free sock, roaming the wild world of Socktopia.  I gotta make a break.

I need a plan.  How did Sal do it?  The last time I saw him was in the tilt-a-whirl.  That's it; he must have found a secret door.  And once I'm out I'm going to be a star.  Just like Lambchop, I'm going to hit it big.  If I can get out of here I will be on all of the talk shows and have my picture on a cereal box, with a sock prize inside.  But first I need to get outta here.

Ok, first I have to hide in the basket next to Streaks Underwear.  He always wants to get all up in things.  I mean really, I don't want to seem pompous, but if you knew him like I know him you might change your mind.  Unfortunately I have to stick by with the small talk to get past the cat, through the water demon and slip out the hidden door of the tilt-a-whirl.

"The tilt-a-whirl is broken," Streaks scoffed.  Holy underwear that almost gave me a thread attack, but luckily he was joking.  I need to slip down next to Streaks as we pass Mr. Whiskers, yuck.  That cat loves me a bit too much.  "I wish the tilt-a-whirl was broken," Bill mumbled, "and when they forget to add the sweet sheet I stick to the sides."  The sweet sheet, yes that's my plan.  I need to cause a distraction so the sweet sheet doesn't join us in the tilt-a-whirl.

I forgot how exhausted the water demon makes me, I just want to roll up in a ball.  No time for this, I need a distraction.  If I unravel I might be able to flink Streaks across the room.  Nope, but good enough, into the kitty litter, looks like he gets the spin cycle again.  Ok, ready to go and it looks like the sweet sheet is nowhere in sight.  I can almost smell freedom.  Getting special treatment sock-acures in my trailer before I go on stage, that will be the life for me.

The rides over, and I'm in place, stuck to the top.  Good bye Streatch, Phil, Fluffy, Big John, Little John, Long John, and all you Johns.  Next time you see me I'll be in the movies, or cable even.  Almost clear, no one is left, just wait for the door to close.

I'm free!!! Now to find that secret door.  "What secret door?"  Who said that.  "It's me," a voice came from the darkness.  Sal, I thought you escaped.  "No, I've been stuck up here for weeks," Sal moaned.  Stuck, that means there's no secret door.  We socks get a bum wrap.  How do I get to Socktopia? How do I get out of here?  I just want to get out.

That blinding light, could it be?  Could it be the divine light that will take me out of here.

I could have gotten solitary confinement.  That would be better than what I got.  I miss feet now.  The perfume of the feet is much better than the slobber of Mr. Whiskers.  As footwear I was at least a valid part of the wardrobe.  Now I'm just a kitty's playtoy, this bum wrap got a bum wrap.